Ever been accused of being a wine snob? Yes. Okay, so it’s perhaps not a very nice accusation but what it really proves is that you have a passion for wine. That’s something to be proud of at least.
So, for a little bit of fun, here’s our (tongue-in-cheek) top 10 signs that you may be a wine snob and, hey, that’s no bad thing, right?
A wine cellar is a deal breaker when buying a home
You find the perfect home that ticks all the boxes bar one. You ask the estate agent if you can see the wine cellar. He or she looks at you blankly and chuckles. “Are you serious?”, they ask. Indeed you are. What kind of property doesn’t have a wine cellar? Looks like you’ll have to continue that search…
You ask to see the wine list before making a restaurant reservation
It’s the restaurant that everyone is talking about and the chef is becoming a celebrity on account of his incredible cuisine. Rumour has it that they are close to a Michelin star. Nobody seems to be talking about the wine list though. You do the only thing you can and call to check what’s on offer before making that reservation.
Panic over. The wine list is exquisite.
You only ever drink the wine that you brought to a dinner party
Your friends are always asking why you don’t try what they have brought along to the party. You politely say it’s because you know what you like and you like what you know. The truth is, they wouldn’t know a good wine if it hit them in the face so you spare everybody’s blushes and only drink the wine you brought along. You just about got away with it…
You are horrified when someone grips the glass by the bowl
Why, oh why would you ever hold the glass like it was a bottle of cheap beer!? Do these people not understand how wine should be enjoyed? It’s certainly not with dirty fingerprints all over the bowl. Honestly, why do you even bother? A little wine etiquette goes a long way. It’s a pity that your friends don’t see that.
You buy wine with the intention of never, ever drinking it
“Let’s open this beauty,” says your friend as they pull it from the rack. You laugh with just a hint of irritation. You didn’t buy this bottle to ever drink it. Why would you want to drink it? What an absolute waste that would be. Then you could never impress the real wine connoisseurs who occasionally visit your home.
You move away from people who tell you they only drink beer
You definitely are not opposed to the idea of drinking beer. In fact, some of the craft beers on offer today are good… but they’re not wine. Beer is for drinking at a rugby match or at a barbeque with less cultured friends.
A bad year is only something that happens in wine
When people tell you they have had a bad year you instinctively start thinking about yields instead of personal problems. Why do your friends bore you with this nonsense? If you want to talk about a bad year, let’s talk vintages, not your marriage break-up.
You disown a friend because of their novelty corkscrew collection
There’s only one thing worse than a household without a corkscrew and that’s a home that has a collection of “hilarious” novelty corkscrews. Some of them even play a tune. Goodness.
Holidays are only ever to wine-producing regions
What do you mean there weren’t any vineyards there? Why did you go there for a fortnight then? What did you do with your time if there was no local produce to taste? Why am I friends with these people?
Screwtop wine is evil
Nothing else needs to be said. If it doesn’t have a cork, then don’t even bother.
